We’ve all been in the situation where someone is being angry or aggressive and it's easy to feel the emotions rise or to feel
intimidated.
I was recently on the receiving end of an angry, aggressive outburst. Not exactly pleasant, especially when it comes out of the blue.
The challenge is how to handle the situation and the emotions without inflaming them further. Whether it’s a workplace disagreement, a difficult customer or even a personal interaction, staying calm and collected can make a difference to how you feel and to the outcome.
Here are a few
ways to deal with these situations:
Remove Yourself from the Situation (If Necessary)
Protect yourself and those around you by creating space and distance if you need to. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or triggered, it’s okay
to step away, especially when someone is in a heightened emotional state.
In workplace settings, it’s helpful to have a strategy for disengaging when things get too intense.
A simple, “I think we need a moment to collect our thoughts and revisit this later,” can give you both time to breathe and refocus.
Stay Calm and In Control
It’s easy to react
emotionally in the heat of the moment. However, remain calm and it can change the dynamic and bring the emotional level down.
When someone is being aggressive, especially when they’re in the wrong, being calm can be a powerful response. You don’t have to match their anger to be heard or to stand your
ground.
In my case, I responded calmly to an obviously angry individual reacting to a situation and denying he'd done anything wrong. By staying calm, I was able to have a conversation with him and not just be on the receiving end of an angry outburst. The calmer you are, the more likely the other person will
start to calm down too.
Acknowledge the Other Person’s Feelings (But Stick to Your Boundaries)
People often just want to be heard and it’s important not to let their emotions cause an emotional response from you.
Acknowledging their anger or frustration, without being patronising, can help calm the situation without losing your own sense of control.
In this situation, by understanding and acknowledging his frustration, I explained what happened, what I'd done and would now do to resolve what he saw as the
problem.
Ignore Personal Attacks and Stay Focused on the Issue
Aggressive individuals often resort to personal attacks or insults. This is frustrating when you feel you're being targeted or blamed but stay focused on the
issue not the emotion.
Respond with clarity. Ask what they mean and keep the conversation about the specific issue they have, not the personal attack, which is probably not relevant to the situation.
Look at it from their perspective. Do they have a valid point, is there something you might not have considered?
Don’t Be Afraid to Call Out Bad Behaviour
While it’s important to stay calm, stand up for yourself and protect your boundaries.
If someone is being disrespectful or crossing a line, point out their behaviour without escalating things.
In a work-related situation, if someone crosses a boundary or is being unfair, calmly highlight any specific actions or words they’ve used to bring back a more constructive conversation.
Walk Away
Sometimes things aren't going to go well, no matter how calm you are. If the other person continues to be aggressive or refuses to listen, walk away. Know when it's more important to save your energy and look after your own well-being than to keep going and go nowhere.
Being able to deal with aggression and negativity is a skill you can develop with practice and the right tools. Stay grounded, create space when needed and communicate calmly and clearly.
Choose how you respond rather than letting someone else control the interaction.
